today's practice games at SAJC was fun as hell.
aside from playing. AND I FELT GOOD.
i tanned. now im SUNBURNT.
it hurts to lie down, it hurts to rest my shoulders on the chair.
i cant even scratch without wincing.
BUT. i think im darker.
HEH yay!

well nothing much today.
movie marathon-ing again.
tmrw's christmas eve and i got morning training.
i dont feel like going to lab tmrw.
well whattheheck =D



WHY CANT I GET DARKER.



Pergilah rinduku, hilangkan dirimu
Tak sanggup menanggung, derita dikalbuku
Pergilah sayangku, bermula semula
Semangat cintaku, membara, kerana dia, tiada niatku.



So it's been a pretty boring week.
movie-marathon on the comp. i've watched like so many movies.
and i watched like some movies 2 times.
here's a list i'll recommend for the time being.

remember the titans
bring it on - all or nothing(chick flick but good workout for my eyes)
american pie presents: beta house(HELLYEAH)
gridiron gang
STEP UP!
take the lead
alone with her
superbad

not a bad list considering i have school and i've been sleeping after 3am
until patricia had to wake me up.
thankew chicky cheeky ((:

today was an alright day. woke up a wee bit late.
for prayers that is.
but i got there on time.. so it wasnt a problem(:
caught up with my neighbour.
he went into army already.
so talked for bout an hour then we went our separate ways.
suddenly there was a downpour. ha monsoon season.
so pretty much nothing's on right now.
my aunts coming to my house to visit grandma.
im going to sleep early. training tomorrow.
i dont wanna miss it for the world.
i feel rusty since monday.
well i really dont feel like typing anything much today.


sometimes, i feel really stupid. why are these feelings surfacing again.
not helped by friends, i really really am falling all over again.
it's not a bad thing. just that... i dont know what to do anymore.
why cant you just be a friend. why must you be something to me.
everytime i wanna forget about you, the more something will make you appear.
how i hate myself now.
bah, this isnt to be written here. no one wants to read.
secretly i hope you do.

and lastly. PHUONG VY IS HOT.
asian idol recap is on right now.



alright, this is just a small thing.
maybe im overly sensitive. but hey.
i wanna air it out at least.

i know i have been avoiding for the past couple of months.
yes i know, especially about that money thing.
sometimes i spend on things that are not important.
and by the time you know it, hey you're on a meagre amount of money left.
truthfully i dont mind paying.
be it 5 or 10. hey you're my friends.
but think about it.
every person's birthday i have to give money for a present.
hey im happy for them yes. i have no ill feelings.
but what about my birthday?
if a shirt or whatever it is you guys cant afford, at least something worthwhile.
something i can remember you guys by.
that chocolate, i still have not eaten it yet.
once i eat it, hell it's gone.
everyone's birthday i contribute.
okay by my own will.
but why i dont wanna pay now is because how do i feel?
have you ever thought how i feel?
to come out money, to see people wearing new stuffs.
what do i get?
what can i show?
maybe im a tad bit ungrateful and too sensitive.
well i dont think i am. im sorry i really dont.
i can voice out my frustrations to you guys in person.
but at least before i leave i wont leave a bad taste.
i mean yes i dint expect anything at the start.
the wishes were enough.
but when it continues. it saddens me.
i feel like im the least important among you guys.
it's not that i want to get angry.
i feel like the least important person right now.
that's how sad i am.

well that's about it.
i hope some of you guys read and maybe you'll understand.
i know im not one of the people you guys may like right now.
but hey. i think i have a valid point right there.
so understand.



ohkay. since she's been tellling me all week to mention her.
yes yes the girl's name is MAS. her name abit too long.
im damn lazy to spell it out now.
im damn lazy to blog. but since she's been soooo nice this week.
well i dint make it up.
this is what she said..


- masnurulazurin says:
MAS THINKS I LOOK HANDSOME AND THAT MY HAIR LOOKS GOOD.

- masnurulazurin says:
then you can add a YAY. at the back if you want.

- masnurulazurin says:
hahahaha

yes. apparently my flowing locks were deemed messy by many.
now that i look different. cool eh.
means i can attract more girls.
holy hell. powerrrr lah.





and mas i mentioned your name quite a few times. so yeah.
cheerios (:


and im going dinner later. im bringing sexy back. 'YEAH!' said jeremy.



im on the verge of a breakdown.
im fucking scared right now.
okay i've been thinking for the best of a few hours.
im really really scared.
traumatized.
i may not show it.
cos i wanna forget it.
oh how fucked i am.
im scared.
im really really scared.
im not being emo about life.
no not girls either.

the time when you're shaped into a man.
i'll never be me again.
i hope it's not true.
Dear God, please dont let it be true.



I LOVE SWIMMING IN THE COLD WATER.
wooo monday's training was fun. fun fun fun.
we had to do push ups and crunches for warm up.
and the fart sounds. WAHAHAHA. it made the cold night turn warm.
the water was freaking cold and i frankly had a blast.
im going faster every training. woooo!

then i went home. in the train me and darren saw this HOT girl.
as in HOT. STEAMING hot in the rain?
yes omg damn hot. big eyes and long hair and oh so HAWTTTTT.
but pity pity she alighted at toapayoh station.

oh and some of you may have seen it.
i cut my hair.
yes the once flowing locks. well not really flowing, but you get the picture.
yes the one with the back touching my shoulders.
the fringe touching my lips.
the sides covering my ears.
all GONE. GONE WITH THE WIND. GONE.
now it's hello neck.
hello ears.
and hello eyes.
snip snip snip. goodbye flowing locks.
irene said 'finally i can see your face'
wths irene.

all for what? for that medical checkup. man, idiot poked me twice.
and guess what, people came with LONGER hair than my once LONG hair.
how sad is that?
and i have to go back to CMPB. ALL the way there tomorrow.
due to my bad eyesight and all that.
gawd what a waste of time.
but. i get to skip school (:

im addicted to the song bubbly by colbie caillat.
makes me all warm in the cold weather (:



can you see that big-assed smile on my face.
it's so big you cant erase it.
why?





CHECK OUT MY NEW SKIN.
i dont care if it's black. i like i like.
and thanks to EVE for making it.
EVE EVE EVE ((:
THANKS LAH EVE.
i owe you ice cream ((:

i said it all in msn. hahaha (:








so. today, a miracle happened.
like finally. I RAN. YES I RAN
so clap for me please. CLAP LOUDLY.
hoooray! hah.
now i feel the pain of the runners of the stand chart marathon.
gawd they ran like wtf lah. i ran like less than half of the 10k runners.
and my legs are jelly-like.
so imagine if i went for that 10k run.
i'll be on crutches or a wheelchair today. how cool.

im running tomorrow. pain is pleasure.
pain drives me on. pain pain pain in my shins.
the lactic acid build-up in the calves and thighs.
endure the pain and push through the unseen barriers.
what dosent kill you makes you stronger.
and thinner.

my reason to run : because i have my bib and microchip with me and i did not leave it in school.

NAWWWW i'll stop when im tired.
HAH. where's the willpower you say?
i flushed it down the toilet (:
i want to put more songs on my playlist. any recommendations?
TAG AND RECOMMEND .
I DO NOT BITE. =D



the happiness yesterday night.
was brought back to earth in just one miserable day.
first the soccer tournament.
just that one stupid sucker punch, and we're out at the quarter finals stage.
how so miserably sad.
and we were doing oh-so-well.
well my team's the best lah. who gives a fuck what others think.

then came that stupid mistake i made.
it so freakingly totally my fault lah.
i left my race bib and microchip in my lab.
HOW STUPID.
now i cant run tomorrow.
i was so bloody looking forward to it lah.
so many friends. i can finally have fun running or walking.
now im just here cursing my goddamn luck.
all cos of a stupid forgetful me.
i scoured through engineering block for lecturers i know. NO ONE.
mr guru was kind enough to follow me around for the best of an hour, searching for someone who could access my lab. NO ONE.
i could cry. 40 bucks. and no 10 dollar refund.
urgh.
it just couldnt get any better.

luckily i got tisa to grieve with me.
thankew crap partner (: